Behind: Connell Waldron (Normal People)
Written by Kayla Berigan
Connell Waldron is the co-protagonist of Sally Rooney’s ‘Normal people’. As a teenager growing up in a small town in Sligo, his behaviour is highly influenced by the people that surround him. On the surface Connell comes across as the stereotypical popular boy in school, however deep down he hides anxiety and fear of being outcasted. As the son of a single mother, whose family has a bad reputation, he cares deeply about what others may think of him and lives in fear of losing his social standing. Connell values his status in society because he believes it is the only way in which he will make it in the world.
At the beginning of the novel, we see that Connell cares a great deal about where people see him and who he interacts with, when he goes to collect his mother from “the mansion”. Connell’s mother works for the secondary protagonist, Marianne, as a cleaner in her home. After a brief conversation between the three characters, Connell asks his mam, “can we go?” This shows his discomfort in the home and around Marianne who is seen as a loner because, “she has no friends and spends her lunchtimes alone reading novels”. Connell is trying to get out of the house as quickly as possible to avoid being spotted within an arm’s length of Marianne as it might give people a reason to avoid him. He keeps his conversations with Marianne a secret because he fears that his association with her would inevitably damage his reputation in school.
As their conversation continues Connell confesses that although he “dreads being left alone with her,” he also finds himself “fantasising about things he could say to impress her.” This confession shows how conflicted he his about his emotions. On one hand he hates the idea of it just being them alone simply because of his fear surrounding his status while on the other hand he finds Marianne to be the only person he can truly talk too, admitting that “he could tell her anything […] even the weird things, and she would never repeat them.” This gives Connell a sense of comfort because he knows that anything he says to his friends will be repeated within the group, meanwhile Marianne doesn’t have anyone to repeat it to therefore she is the only person he is one hundred percent himself with.
Connell is known for keeping his head down and just trying to fit in. This is shown to us in an incident involving Marianne and a teacher (Mr. Kerrigan) during school. She got in trouble for daydreaming and while informing Connell about it he told her that he remembered the incident and thought that “she was being harsh” and that he was actually “one of the more reasonable teachers”, his response to the confrontation shows that his opinions aren’t as strong as Marianne’s and in order to remain unnoticed he keeps it to himself. However, he follows that up by agreeing with her saying that he also feels “imprisoned in the school” but he never exposes his reasons.
After Connell picks up a sexual relationship with Marianne his priorities change; he goes from a semi-anxious guy who likes to focus on school and sports, to a terrified teenager who loves a girl so much that when he tries to hide her, he begins to drive himself insane. The first time he invites Marianne to his house he “looks over her shoulder, to make sure that no one else has seen her arrive.” He knows by inviting her over that he puts himself in a risky position because if he is caught Connell believes that he will jeopardise his entire social status that he worked so hard to keep.
When the invitations for the debs (prom) come up Connell decides to ask a close friend (Rachel) instead of Marianne, even though they have been involved for a few months now. Connell knows that if he was to ask Marianne that he would be judged because of the social systems set up around him. It would be out of character for a boy like Connell to ask a loser like Marianne to a social event, if he was to do this, he would have to expose the relationship he worked so hard to hide from the world. This is an example of Connell giving into the societal pressures of the world he lives in that prohibit him from living freely.
After his breakup with Marianne, Connell finds himself in Trinity College. Due to his social class, he is not familiar with the way people act around him leaving him feeling alienated and out of place. Marianne on the other hand fits right in and the roles become reversed. This leaves Connell struggling to find his place in the new environment and eventually leads to his anxiety getting worse. During his time in college, he begins to suffer from panic attacks and eventually falls into a depressive state. This is caused by the sudden change in his world; he goes from having friends to socialize with and a secret girlfriend that he was madly in love with, to being completely alone and struggling to cope with his own emotions.
Toward the end we see Connell and Marianne reunited and his outlook on life begins to change. While struggling with his mental health Connell is never cruel to Marianne but instead uses her as an outlet that he can love and care for genuinely. From the beginning we see that the one person he feels he can be completely open with is Marianne and this helps him to resolve the trauma he has endured. He begins to display his love for her openly in front of her friends showcasing that he no longer cares what people thinks of his decisions. Ultimately Connell is seen, on the surface, as an obedient, quiet young man however, deep down his emotions control how he sees himself, others and how he acts in situations that affect the way people see him.